People will always tell you the newborn stage of raising a little human is the hardest stage. You get no sleep, you’re learning on the fly, breastfeeding, changing diaper after diaper and learning how to survive with this tiny little nugget that your life now revolves around. Those people that tell you that are big fat liars. Those are your glory days! The older they get the more they move around, the more they get into EVERYTHING, the more they get their own ideas on how things should go, the more they love and then hate certain food items all in one day. You get my point. Raising a toddler is SO fun for so many reasons and pretty darn challenging at the same time.
Enter potty training. All the cool kids are doing it. We started the whole potty training process early last fall with a weekend of taking her to the potty every 30 minutes. She picked it up great, before we knew it she was peeing on the potty like a champ. It took a while for her to get the hang of telling us she had to go potty herself, but for the most part we were feeling pretty good about letting her go diaper free. Poop was a whole different story. (If you’re offended by poop talk you may want to stop reading because we’re gonna get down to the shitty gritty) My perfect little angel child was TERRIFIED to poop on the potty and would throw the biggest fits I had ever seen the second her hiney hit that toilet seat. It got so bad she started holding it for days (sometimes 4-5 days) at a time until we finally gave up and gave in and let her go back to putting a diaper on to poop. I was so scared that she would be so traumatized by us making her poop on the potty that she would be 18 still asking to put a “dipey” on to poop. Her father, on the other hand, was hoping this would be the case. No boys would want to date that girl. So there we were, putting a diaper on when she asked for one and letting her do her thing. All of a sudden a couple weeks ago she decided she didn’t want anyone to change her poopy diapers and would put off letting us change her for as long as possible. This got real old real fast. Do you know how hard it is to change a 2.5 year olds poopy diaper while she’s got her legs stiffened straight, butt cheeks tightened and is managing to roll around all over the place at the same time???!!! It’s a miracle to walk away without shit from stem to stern. And this Momma was done with it. One evening I just decided that was it. No more pooping anywhere but on the toilet. So, every time she would start squirming around doing the poop dance I would take her an sit her on the potty. She would literally scream crying for an hour sometimes until she eventually couldn’t hold it any longer and finally go poop. We would throw a huge party in that bathroom, give her treats, toys, stickers, ice cream or WHATEVER else she wanted to get her excited about pooping on the potty. One night I literally offered her a BUNNY! I just blurted it out! I mean, I was so desperate I offered her a mother effing bunny!?! I have NO idea what we would do with a bunny and I’m actually pretty sure my vicious chihuahua would have killed it in no time. Thank the Lord she said she wanted a fishy, stickers and ice cream instead. An hour of screaming later (about 8:30pm) she pooped. So we piled in the car and like maniacs and ran into Petco right before they closed their doors to pick out a fish. Then to Target to get stickers and a stop at Baskin Robbins for ice cream. This is what desperate people will do. A few days went by replaying this whole scenario out over and over. I would end up with a headache from being locked in a tiny bathroom with a screaming child and she would walk out tired, with a hoarse voice but happy that she did it and ready to play with her prize.
Then I pulled out the big guns. After 45 minutes of screaming “no my go” over and over a couple of nights ago I finally told her no TV until she pooped. We’ve gotten into quite a routine of popping in a movie around bedtime to wind down and this was throwing a major wrench in that. She took throwing a fit to a whole new level. I hid from the blood curdling screams in her room as she screamed her head off while sitting on our bed in our room. I swear our neighbors must have thought I was torturing her. Then it happened. All of a sudden she said “awight, i poop”. She sat on that potty and she pooped. No crying, no fuss, just poop. That night she pooped THREE more times! She was so proud of herself.
Here we are a few days later and she’s still pooping three or four (where does she store all of that?!) times a day and no tears have been shed. I have no idea what finally made it click for her but I am SO happy it did. It’s kinda funny… I feel such a sense of accomplishment and relief. I mean, she’s basically ready for college now. Right!?
Meet Poopsie. Presley’s new fish. And yes, after checking out every fish bowl figurine (princesses, castles, trees, animals) she settled on Iron Man.